No.7565
Aight small update. We have barely talked over the summer, all initiated by me ofc and it wasn't more than a few texts. That was the first few weeks, then i felt shit was off and said something like maybe I should stop talking to you and she went ok sure. I was tryna heal and didn't text for like a month, until I fell and replied to one of her IG stories, which surprisingly she texted back and seemed decently engaged in talking.
So i said whatever and sent her a meme over whatsapp, and she went like don't talk to me again. Like bitch we were talking normally like yesterday just in a different app what the hell. And that is not to say some hints that happened over Instagram, like in the notes where you can share a song I would post a song and like 5 mins later she shared one titled "how to love me" or some shit like that. I wouldn't say it happened all that often but she's done stuff like that more than once
I know this sounds so fucking autistic but it's what it is.
Now we are going back to class, and thankfully we are in different classes so only really see each other in the halls or in our way to/out of class. Haven't talked to her in person (yet) I don't wanna risk that, so a few days ago i texted her like "Can't I talk already?", i thought she was gonna ghost but surprisingly she brought the issue up herself. She said that she "doesn't want anything with me and it's worse if we talk" so "that's the reason i don't wanna talk to you", but also said like "you do whatever".
Now, to me that sounded like she was in a relationship and i hinted to it, she said she "doesn't want anything with no one", aight i said, i brought up those hints but she denied them like bish you know it's true. Like when we were in the talking stage she doesn't know how to lie its kinda cute when she tries
Now back to:
>said that she "doesn't want anything with me and it's worse if we talk" so "that's the reason i don't wanna talk to you"
It's a rough translation but its basically what she said. Knowing how autistic this bish is wouldn't surprise me she actually has some interest and is self-sabotaging, i've done that in the past its def not uncommon. And then:
>"you do whatever"
Now idk what to do should i talk to her or not. I mean I probably will in the next few days i can't hold myself this is driving me crazy imma just pass by her side and say bye, simple as that. It feels i'm starting back from zero again fucking hell
Finally i told her this, that i felt she was afraid of falling for someone. She left it on seen. No response is also a response, if she disagreed she would ave denied it like she denied the hints. Or maybe I'm looking too much into it
So at this point she's either a) retarded, b) lied and has a bf, c) is a closeted lesbian. Maybe all three. All i know is that when we lock eyes she looks like she either wants to kill me or fuck me no in between.