For me both were fucked in different ways, my mom less so.
Grew up in a rural village. Father was an electrician by trade, but never really had a proper job for long "hustled" aka. worked for free so people would outwardly approve in the village.
He was often drunk, a typical "manly man" image, hunter, always on the go.
He beat me often, most of my major holidays like birthdays and Christmass are filled with these beatings because usually those were the days he would be home for the longest.
He had high expectations for me, but clearly favored my younger sister, probably because I wasn't like him at all super outgoing, knows everyone, talks to everyone, I'm like my mother, extremely introverted.
He would drag us around all the time to show us off, show how "good of a father" he is, everything done for outsiders approval.
I was literally starving at home alone when my mother was in the hospital about to give birth to my sister…
He would also spend the money mother earned on cigarettes and his phone bill, because for whatever reason he would be on it 24/7 with other village folk or buddies. This was at a time where you paid a lot per minute and sms.
He likely had some sort of ADHD, probably the only thing I inherited as he had a lot of things he would do, but never complete.
Two major events that warped me greatly are related to this loser as well.
I was always a bullied kid, you know being malnourished leaves you looking like a skelly with skin on and you also tend to be smaller overall, I to this day look weirdly underdeveloped in some ways.
The bullying was harsh, to the point where even teachers started doing it to gain the approval of the class.
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