abandon your stupid identity
and yes it is increibly bourgeois, not cuz you want to go to college, but because its your identity
also tell your dad to eat a dick stop being a cuck
and yeah you probably are scared to make decisions, most young people are cause you're literally your parents property and own nothing, can decide nothing for yourself, according to the state. Its something you have to untrain though, so stop being scared of decisions, have faith in yourself, and just look to the outcomes. Strip your identity back to your power. You are what you control. You mind, your skills, your body, and your property. As long as you have food, water, and shelter your body and mind is gonna be alive at least. Make good decisions e.g. exercise and eat well and you'll have an even more willing and able body and mind at your disposal. This is all that matters. You are not your "identity". You are not engineering or college or a stemfag.
Look back into your past, find your first memory and work forward in time until present. That's you. You're not your mind, of your body, or your identity or beliefs. You're your history.
Go forward and do as best as you can. If you like environmental stuff then do that…. your identity should just blow away in the wind, dont let it lead your life or make you feel things. Tell it to fuck off. See your life as opportunities. You have an opportunity to do environmental sciences, or to not do college, but not to do engineering right now unless you find a way into that (did you try applying to not universities, but just small colleges? is that an option for you? or community college?). Overall you're gonna be fine. If you're happy and get a career out of it, even better for you.also this OP is /dead/ in a nutshell damn